Archive for lap dance

… in other strip club news [JUDY VIGER UPDATE]

Posted in News with tags , , , , , , , , on November 1, 2013 by housemomtales

Judy H. Viger has so far rejected a plea deal offer that would result in the criminal charges being dropped if she stayed out of trouble for 6 months, completed a parenting class and met other unspecified conditions.

The 2012 Best Mom EVER Award goes to .... Judy Viger!

The 2012 Best Mom EVER Award goes to …. Judy Viger!

The Saratoga County District Attorney’s Office has offered an adjournment in contemplation of dismissal, which means the charges would be dropped if Viger was not arrested within 6 months and complied with Moreau Town Court directives.

Her lawyer, Joseph Brennan, said it was unclear Wednesday whether his client would accept the plea.

She faces five counts of endangering the welfare of a child in connection with a party last Nov. 3 at the South Glens Falls bowling alley that was then known as Spare Time Family Fun Center. She is accused of damaging the “physical, mental or moral welfare” of the children by exposing them to strippers who performed lap dances in their underwear.

The party was organized to celebrate her son’s birthday in a private room at the business, but numerous teens were present, some as young as 13.

Parents of most of the children in attendance did not know of the exotic dancer involvement until well after the party, when photos of the bash showed up on social media websites, prompting some to complain to police.

Brennan has said his client hired women to sing “happy birthday” to her son in bathing suits as “bikini grams” and she did not intend to have exotic dancers perform at the party.

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How to enjoy a strip club in 5 easy steps

Posted in Humor with tags , , , , , , on May 11, 2013 by housemomtales

Strip clubs are a lot of fun, but they manhandle your wallet like syphilis treats your genitals: it’s a blast while you’re inside, but the long-term effects can be devastating.  Luckily, here’s a simple way for you to partake of a strip club without breaking the bank.

Step 1: BYOB

Booze at strip clubs is super expensive.  Luckily, mankind was able to foresee this obstacle centuries ago, and thus they invented the flask, allowing you to magically transform your $2.50 Coke into a $15 Jack and Coke with a single, albeit discreet motion.  When it comes to bringing your own booze into a strip club, there’s one important rule to remember: waitresses do not like knowing that you brought your own booze, and strippers love knowing that.  This is because strippers have to pay for their drinks, which is why they’re always trying to get you to buy them one.  By providing her with a free drink, you’re eliminating her obligation to whore a drink out of some sleezy schmuck, so you’re making her life easier, and if there’s one thing every stripper needs, it’s an easier life.  Be discreet, though, because if the waitress finds out about your flask, your ass will be skipping across the curb faster than a chubby schoolgirl chasing an ice cream truck.

 

Step 2: String the Lap Dancer Alongstrip2

Lap Dances are the key to going broke at a strip club.  A strippers job is to elicit as many blue-balls as possible, and she’s good at it.  Plus, lap dances are expensive.  But until you explicitely agree to a lap dance, you’re not obligated to pay for anything.  The stripper, who craves cash to pay for coke almost as much as the coke itself, is going to work hard toward getting you to pay for a lap dance, and she’ll pull out almost all the stops to get you there.  She’ll flirt, rub up against you, maybe even show off the goods a little, and most likely sit in your lap.  Let her do it.  When she asks if you’d like a lap dance, don’t say no right away.  Act like you’re wishy-washy about it, and string her along a little bit.  After all, that’s what she does to dudes all night, so you might as well turn the tables on her a little bit.  Just remember that once she’s giving you a lap dance, you’re obligated to pay for it, so don’t let it get that far and you’ll be just fine, blue balls aside.

 

Step 3: Bring Menthol Cigarettes

Regardless of whether or not you smoke, your good time will be greatly augmented if you carry around a pack of menthol cigarettes, because they’re like stripper catnip.  For some reason, strippers f*cking love menthols.  Next to crack or meth, menthol cigarettes are about the worst thing you can possibly smoke.  They’re nothing but fiberglass and mint-causing chemicals, but strippers smoke them because deep down they’re a little masochistic, and they probably enjoy manifesting their emotional pain with actual, physical damage to their health.  Menthol cigarettes also compliment a good Ecstasy roll, which is a favorite of many strippers, and they make your breath smell good, which is super important when you’re trying to give people boners in exchange for money.  Not all strippers want to shell out the $6 for a pack of their own, but if you have menthol smokes they can bum, they’ll hang around you for the rest of the night.

 

Step 4: Spend Your Five Dollars Strategically

In order to ensure that you have a pleasurable strip club experience, you’ll have to make sure that you spend your extra $5 wisely.  Luckily, there’s a procedure for it.  Pick a spot in the middle of the club and scope out the scene.  Take a look around to see who’s working.  Remember: after the $20 cover and the mandatory $5 worth of drinks, you only have $5 to spend, and you’ll have to stretch that out as long as you can.  Sit and enjoy your drink for a song or two, and decide which dancers you’ll be devoting your money to.  When one of your target strippers has finally been summoned to the stage by the coked out DJ, let her go for a while, and wait until she’s removed her top.  Then, make your way to the stage to tip her.  Place the dollar in your mouth, and get a face full of tits.  Spend only one dollar, and promptly make your way back to your seat.  They don’t like it when you stand up by the stage without tipping.  Repeat this step four more times over the course of the evening, and leave happily at the end of the night, having received five faces full of glittery, sweaty stripper tits.

 

Step 5: Don’t Fall In Love with a Stripper strip

If there’s one thing we’ve learned from movies, it’s that falling in love with a stripper never works out well.  If you fall in love with a prostitute, you can buy her fancy clothes and invite her to elegant outings with your affluent friends, and she’ll turn her life around.  When you fall in love with a stripper, it always turns out that everyone’s vampires, or they all have some crazy disease, or you end up dying in a wrestling match that you were too old to participate in to begin with.  And that’s only if the stripper likes you back.  Most likely, you’re going to end up being the dude that she and her stripper friends refer to as “that creepy guy”, who hangs out in the parking lot and asks everyone where she lives all the time.  That means you’re a pathetic sleezeball, and that’s exactly where falling in love with a stripper leads.  Do yourself a favor and don’t do it.

(Disclaimer: Our $30 price tag was based on a $20 cover, plus a two drink minimum, assuming that a coke will run you about $2.50.  The price of your strip club adventure may vary slightly, depending on cover and drink prices, so look at it this way: after the cover and mandatory drinks, you’ll only spend five dollars.)

~ via  Holy Taco

 

Gentlemen’s Club Etiquette for Couples

Posted in Reblog with tags , , , , , , on March 22, 2013 by housemomtales

 

The Champagne Room and Beyond:
Gentlemen’s Club Etiquette for Couples

z4.invisionfree.com

There was a time before the emergence of hip hop and music videos that a trip to the strip club was something that happened only for bachelor parties.  It was boys night out, and the only women present were the ones on stage.  Things are a little different now.  What happens in the Champagne Room is on TV and film, and you are just as likely to see a couple, as you are a group of bachelors.

Couples looking to ‘spice things up’ might consider a trip to the strip club as one of their options.  Prior to the outing there are few things that couples should discuss between themselves to ensure the best possible experience:

Communicate your expectations to one another.  Men if your partner has never been to the club explain what she will see.  Tell her about the layout, and the drink minimums. Explain to her the difference between when a dancer is onstage, doing a lap dance or in a private room. Ladies, explain your comfort level and what you think you are prepared to see (or not) and do (or not).

Establish boundaries and stick to them.  How long will you stay at the club?  Are you prepared to get a lap dance?  If so will it be just for him, or just for you, or both? How much are you willing to spend at the club?  Every club has its own rules, respect those rules and the women who perform for you.

While you are there have fun! Enjoy the music, and enjoy the scenery.  The club is designed to be a sexy and arousing experience. Take your time in the club to observe your partner.  Did your woman blush while a dancer was on stage?  Lean over and let her whisper in your ear what caught her eye.  Ladies did your man get excited?  Look him in the eye and tell him that you look forward to being the recipient of all of his excitement when you get home.

Once the night is over and you are back behind closed doors you may not be able to talk about your experience immediately, you may have more pressing issues to handle.  Do take the time to discuss your experience at some point; share what you liked or didn’t like!  Examining the shared experience of trip to the club can be the catalyst for future intimate moments with the two of you.

By Aphrodite Brown

National Stripper Appreciation Day

Posted in In-house, News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 1, 2013 by housemomtales

National Stripper Appreciation Day strippers3

Click the link above to sign this petition. I would love to see this become a National Holiday.The United States has national holidays for almost everything under the sun …so why not have one for strippers?

Don’t believe me February 1st is Spunky Old Women Day. February 5th is set aside for Weatherperson Day. And I bet you didn’t know that September 5th is Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day. So, once again I ask you why not a day set aside for dem Sk-rippers… Huh?

Strippers need love to!

Everyone go visit your favorite strip club every year on June 9th to show your appreciation for your favorite stripper.

Sidebar: Click the link to see more monthly, weekly and daily holidays. http://www.brownielocks.com/month2.html

Stripper falls off balcony while giving lap dance

Posted in News with tags , , , , , on January 8, 2013 by housemomtales

Naughty or Nice?

Posted in News with tags , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2012 by housemomtales

Angel

Lap dances aren’t something you usually associate with toys, Santa or Christmas, but an strip club in Arkansas is hoping to change that and help needy kids just in time for the holiday season.

Manager of Platinum Cabaret announces having a campaign for the month of December called Toys for Tatas.

The club invites you to come in and  bring a toy to donate for their toy drive that their having, then they’ll gonna give you two for one lap dances for as many toys as you bring.

4 toys equal about 30 minutes of lap dances….Cant beat that!

Here’s other stories about strippers giving back to their community. Click the links to read more —- >

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57558989/strip-club-offers-holiday-lap-dances-for-toys/

 

Strippers raise cash for Christmas hampers – Canada – Canoe.ca.

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