Atlanta’s Strip Club Lotto


In recent months, seven different charter strip clubs have opened in the metro area, but with such high demand they’ve already reached capacity, forcing potential patrons to participate in a lottery to get in. Ironically, charter strip clubs were meant to counter the problem of overcrowding, as well as elevate the quality and variety of the city’s tits and asses. Now, long waiting lists have formed to gain entrance.

It is tense in the Grady High School gym, where the lottery for Little Brown Jugs is being held. Nearly 200 men sit on rows of metal folding chairs, waiting for Jugs proprietor Donald Donovan to draw numbers. Only 10 will be guaranteed admittance. The rest can try again when one of Buckhead’s charters, Cat-Tails, holds its lottery at the Public Library next week.

Air-traffic controller James Leer, 52, is optimistic. “These odds aren’t so bad. There were way more guys at the lottery for Exxtreme Girlz.” He continued, “Between you and me, I’m supposed to be working right now. But this is an amazing opportunity to scope some nice titties.”

The only options for those who don’t get in to a charter? Lower their standards, or pay the costly covers at the more elite establishments. “It’s hard when your number isn’t called,” said Leer. “You’re just left holding your dick in your hand, you know?” Donovan has now called all 10 numbers…but not Leer’s. He will not be going to Little Brown Jugs. His voice is bitter as he trudges to his car.

“Where am I gonna go…Clermont Lounge? Hell no. Maybe Follies or something. It may be overcrowded, but it’s cheap, and hipsters and shit don’t go there to be ‘ironic.’”

via The Atlanta Banana


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